The 'Bank Of Cuban' Is Now Open; To Help the Mavericks Get Back To Championship Contention, Otherwise Known As the Place They Already Were Two Years Ago

"The Bank Of Cuban is now open", Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban declared Monday night.

"If it's the right deal, we don't mind taking back money. But we're not going to do a trade just to do a trade. It's got to be worthwhile."

So, let me get this straight... the Mavericks are ready to deal! They want to win a championship and will do whatever it takes to get there!

Isn't this sort of like finding a successful workout and eating program, building the body of your dreams, then throwing away the plan, getting fat, and complaining that you can't figure out how to stay in shape?

Let's do a brief Plato-esque walk backwards through time and information...

The eventual goal of the Mavericks pursuing a deal is obviously to win a championship.

It's extremely difficult to win a championship.

It's even more difficult to win a SECOND championship.

The Mavericks WON a championship.

Mark Cuban declined to re-sign several of the key components of that championship team for many reasons; to save money and to pursue a big-name free agent among them.

Also, he now says the major goal of not re-signing those players was for a moment such as exactly this, when they would have cap space to pursue deals!

But the eventual goal of said deals is to win a championship, which he already had the players to do!

This feels like the episode of Seinfeld where George is trying to figure out how to get a girl like Danielle by learning about why she is dating a guy who looks exactly like him... finally Jerry has to point out that he already has Danielle!

I feel like Mugatu from 'Zoolander' taking crazy pills.

Mark, just admit you made a COLOSSAL error in letting those players go and we will be satisfied.

You are a man of calculation, especially with financial dealings, and you really flogged the old dolphin on this one.

In an industry where teams (read: Lakers), spend literally millions and millions of excess dollars just to have a seemingly awesome roster that doesn't even pan out.

You HAD a roster that worked and wouldn't step over the edge just a tad to keep them together?

You thought J.J and Tyson were on their last legs, I get it. But I'm not even a sports expert and I knew they still had plenty of juice left!

Now you're alienating Dirk, alienating free agents ("Shark Tank" vs. Deron Williams anyone?), and your team sucks.

Good work.

By the way, you're an inspiration and I hope to be a great businessman like you someday soon. I mean that from the heart.

That said... this was still a big-ass dookie.